My June 29th daily write:
So I wake up this morning and think, I'll do my daily write first thing. Then I think, And what the hell do I have to write about? I am 110 percent sure that my tiny audience has tired of hearing about my first cup of coffee, me on my couch, the wonderfulness of my dog, and the repetitive details of my daily bodily aches and pains. So what to do? What to do? What to say? I must do and say something, because that is my nature. I must do the daily write. Can't help myself.
So then I think, Okay, I can tell them about how I spent the first half of my day roiling around in the Twitter vortex, trying to use it as a marketing tool for the Writing Salon. I sat at my desk in the laundry room office, and I immersed myself in that weird activity until I decided it was time to stop and move on to creating a Constant Contact email that would go out to the entire Writing Salon mailing list, asking them to cast a vote for the Writing Salon, in the highly unsexy "Best Adult Education" category of the SF Bay Guardian's annual "Best of the Bay" contest. It took me a couple of hours to do that. I have no idea how it could have taken that long, but it did.
After I got the "Please Cast Your Vote" email out, I decided to respond to the blog comment that I had received from Person X the day before. X wanted to let me know that if I needed help finding Phoenix Tears Oil, she could help me out. But before I responded to her, I decided to google (again) some local Bay Area medical marijuana dispensaries, just to refresh my memory as to the lay of that land, and also to see if any of them might miraculously be carrying Phoenix Tears Oil, thus eliminating the need to search for it "out there" and perhaps having to buy it illegally, at least on the Federal level. How the hell do I know how all the crazy conflicting drug laws work these days?
I did find a dispensary (one of dozens in the Bay Area) that sounded good and was closer to me than the Harborside dispensary in Oakland, which has the best reputation of them all. So I called them to see if they could give me any information about finding locally made Phoenix Tears oil. The guy who answered the phone had never heard of Phoenix Tears oil, and he put me on hold and asked every other worker, including the boss, if they had. No one else had heard of it either. I thought that was really odd.
Anyway, researching Phoenix Tears oil was very much like when I got sucked into the Twitter vortex, earlier. After following various leads and going in numerous different directions and thinking about all sorts of related things that were, however, still digressions from the main task at hand, I emailed X back, she sent me her phone number in another state, and I called her.
By then I had realized that I already knew who X was -- a fellow member of one of the breast cancer "alternative medicine" email discussion lists that I am on. I exchanged emails with her last year, about this same subject, but then I never followed through on any of it, partly because of the expense but also because and I got swept up into months of intravenous Vit. C infusions, fractured ribs, immobility, rising tumor markers, tamoxifen misery, and daily coffee enemas (don't knock 'em until you've tried 'em; I swear to god that the coffee enema is one of the most healing, healthy things I've ever done, and it takes guts for me to say so on a public blog).
X and I talked for about half an hour. When I hung up, I was even more enthusiastic about getting some of the oil and trying it...and at the very same time, I was less enthusiastic. X struck me as a very honest, well-meaning person. She clearly knew a lot about this subject, had done a great deal of research. But at the same time, her own personal experience with the oil has not been, as I had hoped it would be, strikingly or clearly successful.
She knows of OTHERS who say their experience with it has been nothing short of miraculous, that it saved them when everything else, including mainstream treatments like chemo, had failed. But in her own case, it has not been so clear cut. She took the oil off and on for the last couple of years, but her cancer was already quite advanced by then (breast cancer that, after almost 10 years of remission, showed up in her colon and was then also discovered in her peritoneum, bones, liver and just about everywhere else in her body, it seems).
Two months ago, she was down to 99 pounds (5'6") and about to go into a hospice program. But then she saw a different doctor who put her on standard chemo (taxotere), Faslodex, and Aredia. She went through more hell on those drugs, but is now no longer on the brink of death and is feeling better. She says she figures she may have bought a little more time, maybe one more good summer camping trip.
Despite all this uncertainty as to how the oil may or may not have helped her, she still believes in it...and thinks that if you get good enough quality and if you know how to take it the right way (ie. start out slow but build up as fast as you can to one gram a day for a period of 60 to 90 days, at a cost of anywhere between $2,000 to $3,000), it can really truly kill cancer; not necessarily "cure" it but make a signficant difference/slow it down/push it back. I wouldn't hesitate to at least try it, except for the expense.
Also, it was sobering to hear her describe how different people react to it in different ways. For some reason I had imagined that it wouldn't make me high (duh), but that is not necessarily the case. One tiny drop of this oil is so potent, you have to be super careful. If it has a high THC content, you will feel high. If it has more CBD content than THC, you will not feel as high. . . maybe not at all (my preference, by far, given that I have a job).
She said that one time she got cocky and after getting some new oil from a different source, she took the same amount that she was used to taking. Problem was, the new oil was much stronger. She got wildly ill, as if she were drunk almost to the point of passing out. The room was spinning, she was nauseous and just felt absolutely horrible. She made it to her bed and suffered through a few miserable and scary hours. This made me realize how careful I will have to be if I try it.
So . . . that is how I spent a big chunk of my yesterday. I also ate some spaghetti.
Kombucha TOO!!
Posted by: J | Friday, May 18, 2012 at 12:46 AM
Now that cancer is 1/3 human beings I think we'll find lots of "old natural" cures sprouting up in favor and spotlight. I grow medicinal "herb" for an amazing gentle man with spinal abifida, CP, MS & degenerative disc sciatica. We are getting great results with the oil & vaporizing. Being sure to avoid oily foods 2 hours before and after taking the oil is a good way to avoid getting high or too high from Phoenix tears. They are oil and alcohol soluable so best to avoid both during digestion. They are also very bitter so an apple or carrot are a good accompaniment for the oil.
I recently treated my cat's cancer by feeding him ground up apricot kernels. They must be air dried with no heat... That means no sun drying or otherwise. I get my seeds from earthnotions.ca... They are about $60 for a years supply. The dosage that is most prevalent and worked for me is 1 seed per 10lb of body weight. Grind Em up with a coffee grinder and eat them with food... For myself I've ground them up and drank Em in almond milk... They taste awful as most things that work do!! I can't and don't encourage people to take them as medicine for humans as that has gotten a good many good people arrested & I don't want to be hassled by the FDA... I am no doctor and make no claims or suggestions... I just wanted to share my own opinions and experience with my cat... Whom is in total remission going on 2 years since they told me he'd be dead in 48 hours... Notebly and ironically, he started getting visibly better in 48 hours... If you do your own research, you'll find the answers for yourself. Don't give up, your important and your life matters a great deal. California & British Columbia are waking the people and offering up some real hope and compassion... We just need to be vigilant as those that would have us sick and blind, feeling alone and helpless... The truth is that knowledge is power & power in numbers is law... Spread the word, spread the love, spread the knowledge.
Dr. Green Palm - Victoria, BC, Canada
Posted by: Dr. Green Palm | Friday, March 23, 2012 at 11:38 AM
Wow. Glad you ate that spaghetti.
Posted by: linda | Wednesday, July 06, 2011 at 08:18 PM
The only reason I wish I weren't reading about your daily experiences, thoughts, research, and difficulties with cancer is if you were so well you didn't have to think about it. I really do wish that were the case. Since it's not, I hope you know that I (and I'm sure many) find your honest posts very helpful. I, too, have (have? had? I don't know for sure) breast cancer and it weighs heavily on my mind every day even this year and a half since I finished my last radiation treatment. I naively thought I would return to "normal life" after formal treatment ended but I've since learned that that is rarely the case.
I very much appreciate your posting about your experience and I've learned so much from you. You've pointed me in directions and twigged me to ideas I knew nothing about and for that I'm most grateful.
So ... you just keep right on writing and my wish is that someday soon you'll be too busy enjoying life and not thinking about cancer.
By the way ... I have a job and I would still opt for "feeling high". A little escapism now and then would be most welcome.
Posted by: Heather | Wednesday, July 06, 2011 at 09:11 AM