I'm Still Here--Just Had to Take a Break from Blogging about Breast Cancer

Hi everybody. If I tried to catch you up on all the details of my "journey" during the almost-four months since my last post here, it would take too long. Honestly, I'd rather use that time to just lay back on this sunny Sunday and watch another couple of old episodes of the Canadian crime drama, Intelligence, that I can watch via Instant Play on Netflix. I don't think it's a GREAT series (Breaking Bad is a GREAT series, in my opinion), but it's good. I also recently discovered the BBC crime drama, Luther. I like Luther a lot. I particularly like the character of Alice, and the relationship between Luther and Alice.

I have been watching a great deal of TV, these last few months, because moving -- literally -- hurt too much. Various bone/muscle issues . . . the roundabout/indirect results of breast cancer that has metasticized . . . forced me to limit my mobility. I am by no means an invalid - in fact I just finished teaching a five-week class last week - but my physical activity, overall, has been quite limited. I'm not even driving a car.

Medical Update, Briefly: My body, for whatever reasons, could not tolerate the drug tamoxifen. I tried it for two months (see last post), until I thought I would rather just be dead than continue to feel the way it made me feel. I DID feel like an invalid, during the worst weeks of being on that drug. I could barely move at all, it made me so miserable. I was a stone sitting or lying on the couch, day in and day out, 23 hours a day. But that is in the past.

For the last couple of months I've been taking Xeloda, instead, which is a form of low-dose chemo. Pills, not IVs. The goal is to turn my rising tumor markers around; they've been rising steadily for more than a year. I like to think that whatever things I've done (alternative or mainstream) have at least slowed down the rise. There's no real way of knowing, though, what has helped and what hasn't. People assume that there's always some magical test that will explain exactly what is or isn't working, what is or isn't happening in your body. But that actually is far from true. Often, you just have to go by how you feel. If something seems to be making you feel better, you keep doing it, and hope it is doing something to slow down, stop or reverse the cancer.

During the time that I was on tamoxifen, I was so wiped out that I stopped doing most of my alternative treatments, simply because it made me too sick to do anything other than be as immobile as possible.

Now I'm starting to feel better enough to start thinking about re-incorporating some of the alternative treatments back into my daily life. I think that this will improve my odds of surviving for a longer period of time than if I just put all my eggs in one "treatment" basket. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Right now I'm focusing on trying to heal my right shoulder. I pulled or tore or sprained a muscle, between the elbow and the shoulder, and it stubbornly won't heal (a side effect of Xeloda is that it decreases your body's ability to heal itself -- this is one of the well known evil aspects of chemo, and one of the reasons I have so mightily resisted doing any chemo, all along. But at least this chemo is super low dose.

My main strategy for the arm is to try not to use it, at all. Very difficult to do. (And yes, I tried a sling, briefly, but I hated it. I don't think it helped any more than just trying not to use the arm, not to make certain movements.) And I alternate hot and cold packs (annoying and time-consuming). And I take aspirin.

Yesterday I made a quick list of stuff I need to start doing (or doing again), in an effort to fight the cancer in as many ways as possible (time-wise, energy-wise, and financially). In no particular order, I came up with:

Castor oil packs
Hydrogen peroxide
Coffee Enemas
Pancreatic enzymes
Homeopathy
Osteopathy
High Dose Curcumin
High Dose Glutathione
High dose Vitamin C
Artemisinin
LDN (low dose naltrexone)
Acupuncture/Chinese herbs
Massage
Bio-Mat
Infrared Sauna
DMSO
Medicinal Cannabis
Photonic light therapy

I know about many other possible alt. treatments. These are not all of them. So I'm sure the list will grow/change. Some I will be able to add into my protocol, others I won't.

That's all for now. I've left out soooo much about the last, well, ten months really. But I have to let go of my "perfectionist" tendencies and just post what I can, when I can, even though it seems ludicrously incomplete to me. I hope someone out there finds my posts, scanty and infrequent as they are, to be of some use.

 

 

 

Comments

[Janine]

If you have not seen the British version of the series Life on Mars (both seasons), rent it on Netflix immediately. It's AMAZING!

[John Underwood]

I have always believed that the term "Cancer" is misleading. There is only a failure of the immune system. We are all born with Cancer cells in our bodies and they remain until "death do us part". Chemo can in my opinion only be helpful if the body is stronger than the cancer, otherwise, your body will die with the cancer. Trust your instincts, your "cravings" are your bodies way of communicating with you. You know your body better than anyone on this mother earth. Better than ANYONE. Regardless of there education. I know I am not telling you anything you don't already know, but my "little voice" thought maybe you need to "hear" it. Have you considered Reiki? They used to have a center where Scott and I volunteered. It is free, and at the very least, incredibly relaxing.....Your Bro, Jay

[Claudia]

Jane - What a journey you're on. So brave and very inspiring, thank you for taking time, when you're feeling so worn down to reach out so that others can learn from what you're going through. Sending good, healing and empowering thoughts, your way. XOXO Claudia