The Nutshell Update: REALLY!

I keep thinking I'll give this highly informative update, with lots of specific details. I realize (suspect) that my friends are much less interested in all the details, and much more interested in the bottom line summary, but I like to think that the details of my experience could be of use to women reading this who might actually be in the throes of dealing with breast cancer. That's why I am reluctant to toss out nothing but summary nutshells that don't shed much light on either information or the process of trying to navigate through the medical system, the decision-making process, and the necessity of also keeping one's daily life intact.

However, I MUST work on my Writing Salon accounting today. Tax time is just around the corner, and I've let everything backslide.The pile of paperwork is rising. A new session of classes is due to start in less than four weeks. All the STUFF of life must be tended to, regardless.

So. Summary:

1. I have a breast cancer recurrence, same breast. More than one spot. Trying to treat this with two or three more lumpectomies doesn't make a whole lot of sense. What makes the most sense is a mastectomy. (This was discovered from my recent, annual MRI. I wasn't expecting a breast recurrence at all, because I was so focused on the dysfunctional bleeding and the possibility of having endometrial or uterine or ovarian cancer...and possibly a hysterectomy and/or bunches of toxic drugs.)

2. The only reason a mastectomy wouldn't make sense would be if the results come back positive for mets (from the PET scan that I finally had last Monday). If that happens, then the fate of my breast and/or lymph glands will be the least of my worries. What I would do at that point would depend on how extensive and on where the mets were located. I suppose the possibility of hysterectomy still remains, as well. I will find out the results of the PET scan on Monday, most likely. I hope by Monday, anyway, because all this waiting is stressful (understatement).

3. Best case scenario, short of a miraculous, spontaneous disappearance or shrinkage of the cancer in my breast, would be that no mets are detected elsewhere, and I end up having a simple mastectomy rather than a more complex one that would take lymph nodes or, god forbid, muscles.

4. Worst case scenario: Unknown. That is part of the Great Mystery we call life.

“Each patient carries his own doctor inside him. They come to us not knowing that truth. We are at our best when we give the doctor who resides within each patient a chance to go to work.” —Albert Schweitzer

I am continuing to search for and stay in touch with the "doctor within" while also continuing to consult with my doctors "out there."

***

P.S. If you are having this thought:

"If only Jane had done chemo or radiation, she probably wouldn't be dealing with what she's dealing with right now."

I say: Plenty of women (as in: hundreds of thousands) have had chemo and radiation and still gotten recurrences and/or mets...and when they do, most people think: "That's too bad," or  "Shit," or "Oh well, it's a crap shoot." They don't think: ""If only So & So had done alternative treatments, she probably wouldn't be dealing with what she's dealing with right now."

So please don't jump to some knee-jerk, snap judgement about a topic as complex as cancer. There are no easy answers here, no one-size-fits-all solutions. People with cancer try all sorts of different medicines, treatments, and healing "protocols." Some do one hundred percent conventional mainstream Western medicine. Some do one hundred percent nonconventional, alternative, non-Western medicine. Others come up with combinations of both. And in every group, the cancer can still come back.

Which of these groups, you may wonder, has the best survival statistics? No such statistics exist - not really. People who do alternative treatments don't get studied much. The pharmaceutical companies will pay for a million dollar study to compare which type of chemo works best, and come up with the grand annoucement that Chemo #1 works better then Chemo #2 because #1 gives a two-month longer survival time. Whoopdeedo. But will they do a million dollor study comparing the group that did  Chemo #1 and radiation against the group that did, say, Iscador, the Budwig Protocol, high dose Iodine, a special diet and a ton of supplements? Of course not.

Comments

[mary ann stein]

I'm with you, dearest Jane. We'll talk when/if you want to. Keep writing and taking photos! Love you, Mary Ann

[Jeff Kennedy]

Dear Jane,

My thoughts and hopes are focused only on the containment of the cancer cells -- that they are a small, tight-knit group preferring to hang together in your breast than to explore independently.

As for chemo and radiation, both of my parents used both beginning soon after their diagnosis, and they died three and ten months after diagnosis. There are no easy answers. We all just do the best we can with what feels true for us.

Best wishes for health and happiness,
Love,
Jeff

[Jennifer]

Hi, Jane: I appreciate the nutshell. Have been worried about you. I do hope for the best.

Maybe I'm thick, but I have to say--as someone who DID have chemo (though not for breast cancer), it never crossed my mind to think that your recurrence would or wouldn't have come about because of conventional treatment or lack of it. I had a scare this fall (we think that's all it was), and all I can say is sucks sucks sucks. I hope you've enjoyed a peaceful Christmas. Sending you strong good wishes and will be following you as you head into the new year.

[Jill]

My first thought about the chemo and radiation was that if you had done it, you most probably wouldn't have had the quality of life that you've had these last 4 years. And with quality of life comes less stress and with less stress comes better healing....
Only you can truly know what is best for you. I have always believed in your decisions for your health and still do...

Am thinking of you daily and believing that it will all work out the way it is meant to...

Love,

Jill

[[email protected]]

right on jane. well said, all around...hoping the best possible unfolding for you.