More Nutshell "Breast Cancer" News (Translation: "Life" News)

I spent two hours last night, from 10:15 p.m. to 12:15, writing this "nutshell" post, which turned out to be 1500 words. Good thing I had the presence of mind to save it as a draft, first. I will go back later, revise, and post the expanded version for the hardy souls who might want to read beyond the Cliff Notes version. (my last update, in case you want the back story to this update, is HERE)

Cliff Notes Version:

1. PET Scan results: no cancer detected anywhere else. Only in my breast.  I feel fortunate tonight. Not happy, exactly. I'm still scared about a bunch of stuff. But I do feel fortunate, yes. And grateful (understatement).

Next steps:

• Call Dr. Lewis, surgeon, to discuss mastectomy. My consulting doctor, Dr. Renneker, has already forewarned me that most surgeons will balk if I tell them that I want only a mastectomy, no chemo and very possibly no tamoxifen either. Do I look forward to this appointment? Oy vey.
  
• Keep my already-made appt. with Dr. Cowan on Jan. 5th. See what he thinks I should start to do, asap, to deal with the current scenario from his unique "alternative" perspective. I also want to ask him what he thinks I can do to counteract the metastasis-provoking effects of a mastectomy (a very real surgery-related dilemma/risk that I will write about later).
  
• Create my list of excerpted quotes from the "inspirational" books about healing, which I've recently been re-reading in my efforts to keep a positive outlook (or maybe a better way to say it is: a more spiritual, soul-level outlook).
  
• Make an appointment with Dr. Bouch to see what he thinks. Both he and Dr. Cowan are "regular" medical doctors who work within the vast, often uncharted territory of alternative and/or integrative medicine.
  
• Make an appointment with the practitioner who has been prescribing my HRT to see how she thinks I should proceed regarding: 1) the dysfunctional bleeding issue that has yet to be resolved, and 2) the issue of whether and/or how to continue HRT during a time of active cancer (as opposed to during a time when there is no evidence of any cancer); if you have been reading my blog all along, you know that this is a highly complex and controversial subject.
• Find a full day to do the hormone saliva test. Consult with doctors Zava and Bouch and whomever else it makes sense to consult with, about the results from this test.
  
• Call the esteemed Dr. Wong in NYC to see what he has to say re: treating breast cancer and/or womens' hormonal imbalances (using TCM - traditional Chinese medicine). I have it upon good authority that Dr. Wong can get his herbs to do just as much for me as Tamoxifen can, only without any of tamoxifen's terrible downsides (such as causing aggressive endometrial cancers).
• Also consult with E. Korngold, my longtime acupuncturist/Chinese herbalist, who has been a mainstay and godsend for me, these past four years. His wisdom and compassion has been invaluable. He's having hip surgery now, but I will see him on Jan. 11th.
• Oh, and last but most definitely not least, discuss all of this with the women I have met via the website breastcancerchoices.org (run the the wondrous Lynne Farrow) and annieappleseedproject.org (run by the amazing Ann Fonfa) which led me to join two breast cancer discussion lists, online, four years ago. I am in regular contact with Lynne, and I recently touched base with Ann, who has worked with Dr. Wong for many years, making it through several breast cancer recurrences without ever using any of the conventional drugs/treatments.
  

So: That's five different doctors, four of whom do not take health insurance. You do the financial math. I will need to somehow unearth the time and energy and money to talk to all these doctors while simultaneously working full-time and also preparing myself, as best anyone can prepare, to have a mastectomy.

I may not be able to time the mastectomy in an ideal way, which means that I have no idea how the Writing Salon will be run while I am out of commission

I suspect that a bunch of things just won't get done, or will get done in a much less satisfactory way — as in: haphazardly and semi-dysfunctionally. Business will likely suffer as a result.  I may just need to accept that a "temporarily fucked-up situation" will occur, and that my teachers and clients (students) will simply have to bear with the breakdown until it has been repaired and is running smoothly again. 

However, I have to step back and look at the bigger scheme of things, and know that the difficulties WILL be surmounted. I am determined to have faith that the fucked-up parts will be balanced out by the unexpectedly un-fucked up parts that I cannot possibly know about in advance but that I believe will rise to the surface.

BOTH parts will open doors leading to greater healing at all levels - psychological and spiritual, as well as material and physical (but mostly, I think spiritual in the non-religious sense of that word - the connection with the "divine life force" sense). I look forward to this.

Comments

[mary ann stein]

Thank you for the detailed update. I will re-read it again and again. Love you!

[Julie]

Oh Jane, I'm relieved to hear your good news, even if it's relative! And don't worry about the WS...things will work out there--you have a pretty extensive team in the wings. As we used to say to each other when I was a publicist and a client locked themselves in their hotel room and refused to come out for live TV, we're not delivering serum to Africa, right?

xxoo

[Jill]

As everyone else, I feel relief hearing the PET results. Hopefully, riding the wave of good news will help make those next steps a smoother, somewhat easier journey for you! Also, I feel so reassured knowing that you have such a wonderful team working with you and some beautiful support from friends, family, and loyal readers. Combine that with your own personal strength and positive attitude....you'll come out a winner......I feel it!

I love you, Jane

Jill

[Ms. K]

Like wavearooni, my first response was BIG relief when I read item 1. (Thanks for putting it first) I know there is much ahead of you, but I'm so glad to know it's not worst case.

[Janine]

You are awe-inspiring, Jane. I am a regular reader of your blog and I am continuously amazed at how one woman can juggle and deal with so much at the same time and with such grace, poise, calm and introspection. And in the midst of all of it, you continue to take such incredibly beautiful photographs. I am praying for you - for miracles on all fronts. :)

[[email protected]]

first things first - whew...good jane, very good (relatively speaking)...next, i have every sense that what you will do- will be right for you. please continue to keep us informed, as your blog is of great service to your readers as well as our interest in your personal sharing of the "great breast cancer adventure".