How did it go? you ask. And did the universe come to my rescue?
Well, my performance wasn't a 9 or 10 on the scale of 1 to 10. Nor was it a 1 or 2. That's about as specific as I can get. You'd have to ask the students who took the class. Or I guess I should ask them. Should send out one of my "Course Evaluation" feedback request forms. But I don't want to. I have enough to do without adding that onto my to-do list. Like writing this blog post, right?
The universe helped to keep me from falling flat on my face, or from crashing my darling Smart Car on the way over there, or from falling asleep sitting up in my orange swivel chair in the middle of trying to get out some garbled sentence. But I can't say that it wiped the gray clouds and fog out of my head and replaced them with clear blue sky and brilliant sun. There were several moments when I became a moron.
I really was extremely tired and muddled. I'm sure it showed. I'd made, for example, a big stack of fifteen 3-page handouts. At the end of class, I bid everyone goodbye, and fifteen minutes later noticed that stack of handouts sitting there on the table next to my chair. Just one example. So yeah, I emailed it to everyone. Not the end of the world, but still...
Mostly it was about being unable to improvise, to say or do smart stuff off the cuff, which is by far the best way to lead a class. You refer to your notes and lesson plan, sure. But you are able to change it up as you go along, as needed. You can riff. You can play off of what your students are asking and saying. You don't have to constantly be looking down at the lesson plan every five minutes, following it as if you were a robot.
Anyway. Such is life. Some days you are more awake than other days.
You move on.